Burney Chapman by Kevin Faley

Burney landed in Charlotte, North Carolina and called me and told me he needed to go to Virginia the next day. I said I would pick him up at the airport. He informed me that we were only five or six hours from his destination to which I answered, "baloney!" I could get him there in two hours. Boy, was I ever wrong. Once we got hooked up, he wanted to stop for some "supplies." After that, we got to my house where Burney and I solved all the problems of the world in about four hours and then he went to bed. Burney was 6’5” tall and all I had was a queen size bed. After putting a quilt box at the end of the bed, with padding, to accommodate his size, he was all set.
    Three hours later, we were up and on our way to Virginia. We finally arrived at our destination and got set up to work on a crippled horse. The attending vet was rather put off when the Pope, (Burney,) showed up. Anyway, we got the horse fixed up thanks to Burney’s expertise.
    The next morning, we arrived at a Saddlebred barn, which had some good show horses. Burney left me with the shoeing problems and took off to enjoy some jet skiing and refreshments. Since Burney did not believe in tranquilizers of any sort, I had to accomplish the mission without any help from either Burney or trancs. When I finally finished the horse, Burney came into the barn and said “Strip it.” Boy, was I shot down. He went back to riding the jet ski. I finally did a job on the horse that he accepted and that was a done deal.
    The next horse needed 4 heart bar shoes. I worked my fanny off and did the job. Then Burney came into the barn, looked at the horse and said, “Strip it.” I was really ticked off. I thought I'll get smart while Burney’s out enjoying the jet ski and beverages. I decided to swap nails rather than “stripping” the horse. Burney came into the barn, looked at the horse and said, "So you decided to swap nails. Kev, you can't BS a BS’er, but you can snow the snowman," I happened to be the “Snowman.”

    On one of my trips to Lubbock, I remember the time when my good friend, Don Riley and I started off to shoe Burney’s private horse. Unbeknownst to Don, Burney and I had set things up. Whatever Burney said, I was to disagree with, and by the same token, anything I said, Burney would disagree with. Needless to say, Burney and I had Don a nervous wreck in just a few minutes. It was one of the best times my dear friend, Burney and I ever had.
    There was another trip to Texas. Burney had a number of horses he had been working on. There was a big grey mare that had a capped elbow the size of a grapefruit. A vet had worked on it, but had only taken the top off, which is the same as taking the top off a wart. This was one big she-boil. Burney said to me, “Kev, what shall we do about it?” I said, “Burney, go to your office and get an elastic band because we are going to do surgery by constriction.” I put the band on the boil and in 10 days, it was gone.
    Now, here is the rest of the story. This mare also had a DDF Tenotomy that was not done correctly. So Burney said, “Kev, how can I fix it?” I told Burney, "I can fix it.” I commenced to put a solution on the incision sites and wrapped both front legs with vet wrap. It was a job well done as far as I was concerned.
    Later on that evening, Don and I were invited to dinner at Burney’s house, complete with all the sons and grandkids. I am 6’3” and all the chairs were taken at the table. So, I ended up sitting at the end of the table on the floor and my chin was on the table. Burney came in and said to me, “Kev, you screwed up. You wrapped the horse too tight.” I went out to check the mare and wasn’t I amazed to find her fetlocks the size of softballs? Anyway, I took the wraps off and she was okay. Ever since that time, Burney would tell people that “Kev is good when it comes to shoeing crippled horses, but he sure is lousy at wrapping legs.”
    On yet another trip to South Texas, Burney and I left Lubbock in his airplane. I can't remember the year, but we arrived at this millionaire’s ranch that was many miles square. The man had a high dollar quarter horse that was foundered. With Burney’s vast experience, we got the horse fixed with heart bar shoes and resections. Much to the owner’s delight, the horse trotted off.
    The owner of the ranch loved to cook on his grill, out on his huge deck. Burney and I were enjoying a drink while the owner cooked dinner. Much to my surprise, Burney said to the man, “Kev likes fresh steak.” So, the man went into his house and came out with a high powered rifle, leaned on his deck railing, and shot one of his Brangus cows. He then sent a couple of his ranch hands to butcher the cow. Soon the ranch hands came up to the deck with a very fresh, bloody, steak. The owner showed the steak to Burney and said, “Is this fresh enough for Kev?”  Needless to say, we ate very well that night. The next morning, we got in Burney’s plane and headed back to Lubbock.
    On another trip to Virginia, Burney was called to check out a beautiful American Saddlebred show horse. When we got to the barn, we met the owner and the owner’s vet. This was a sad case for all of us.
    The Vet, Burney and I went into the stall where the horse was lying down. The minute we walked into the stall, a putrid odor wafted into our nostrils - gangrene. The Vet said, “Well guys, what do you think?” Burney turned to me and said, “Kev, what do you think?” On that cue, I picked up each of its feet and gave each one a twist and handed the four feet to the vet. I said to him, “This critter needs an intercranial lead infusion.” He looked at Burney and said, “What is that?” Burney looked back and coolly said, “Kev said the horse needs a bullet in the head.” We left feeling very sad, but also knowing you can’t fix them all.
    This is my favorite picture. The shot was taken of Don Riley and I during another trip to Texas. We “worked” on lame horses, and at the end of the day, Burney got paid.
    Later on that night at Burney’s house, he said to me, “Kev, what do you want to do tomorrow?” After some thought, I said, “You are not a religious man and neither am I, but let’s all go to church.” He said, “Okay.” And the next thing I knew, Rhonda called around town and found out that Our Lady of Guadalupe Catholic Church had a mass at 10:00 am.
    The next morning, Burney, Rhonda, Don and I went to the Catholic Church. After the mass was over, I was talking to the priest and asked him to take our picture. He agreed and we posed. As it turned out, I was amazed to see that only Burney, Rhonda, and I were in the photo. Some folks who knew Burney called him, "the Pope.” Burney always called me the “Cardinal.” and I always thought of Rhonda as an angel. Much to my amazement, the photo showed the Lord, the Pope, the Cardinal, and the Angel.

The Funeral of Burney Chapman:
    Rhonda had asked Tab Pigg from South Texas to purchase two white doves at a local pet store, which he did. When Tab arrived in Lubbock, he asked Don Riley, there from Virginia, to take care them for the night in our hotel room. Don has a reputation for knowing how to care for exotic animals. Anyway, at the funeral outside the church, Rhonda read a beautiful poem which was very moving. She then released the birds, but they only flew about 3 feet and landed in a bush at the front of the church. Rhonda was disappointed that the birds didn't fly up into the sky. This was a time to think quickly and I came up with an idea. I took her aside and explained that the pet store sold Tab the wrong birds. He got birds that were supposed to be sold to a magician. Birds on stage have their wings clipped so they won’t fly away. I think we all felt better after my explanation.
    The pall bearers put Burney’s casket into the horse drawn carriage. The Funeral Director said to me, “We will not have a procession back to the Funeral Home.” My answer was simple “I am staying with Burney to the very end.” All the other pall bearers said, “We will stay with the carriage too Kev.” The road was in rough shape with broken bricks, etc, but everyone followed us to Burney's final resting place.
    One of the pall bearers, Mr. McCormack from Wichita Falls, Texas, had a ruptured disc in his back. He was in awful pain, but he walked anyway. I later found out he had been a Marine. That was typical for a Marine.
    The other thing I noticed was that Kelly, Bob Backen’s wife, had high heels on. She made the walk also on that rough road. Kelly loved Burney too and said to me, “I am staying right to the end.” --- We all made it to the funeral home and put Burney to rest.